You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
