I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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