Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
