how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize