I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
