Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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