That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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