Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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