Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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