I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
