Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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