If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
