Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
