I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
