question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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