I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
