the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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