found the other keg... it's in the tree
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
