Small penises have feelings too.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
