Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
