the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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