Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
