I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize