My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
