Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
