It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
