kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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