Me. At least after what I've been through.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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