Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
