I wannas sexs uuuuu
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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