spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
