we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize