And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
