3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
