I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
