Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize