Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
