Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
