girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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