I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize