Sponge bath it is.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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