no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
