are you so shy because you have an std?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
