You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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