so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
