so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
