in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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