i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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