hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize