I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
