i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize