I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
