He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
