It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
