dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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