Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
