Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
