Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
