I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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