i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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