I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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