I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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