she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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