Dual....:-)
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
