singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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