I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize