Where did you get a picture of my penis
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
