Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
