Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
