Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
