That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
